So after having a few months together I realise the honeymoon period is almost over thus revealing something that you may not know... I know you think you know me but I have a hefty admission that could make you no longer want to read this. A topic that is not only controversial but tears people apart.
I
AM
TAN-O-REXIC
That's right followers I have been suffering this condition since the tender age of 17 and will never go back to the world of white. Now lets get one thing straight I am not opposed to "whiteness" on others, personally I would it if I could pull off lily white skin but alas I cannot. As is my weekly ritual that has only ceased once in the last 6 years earlier this year due to two impacted wisdom teeth and to my horror I spent 4 days naked.
I consider fake tanning as important as showering, brushing teeth, wearing deo and of course my monthly scour of Rolling Stone magazine. But all materialistic and image consciousness aside I feel tan is a part of me. I cannot explain it and it may sound ridiculous but I cannot imagine my life without it. Close friends, family and even my ex boyfriend of 5 years ever saw me not spray tanned. I have not been so fortunate to keep my "natural" skin away from my boyfriend, to my horror he witnessed first hand the wisdom teeth saga and on occasion the nominal hour where I let me skin "breathe" - the anxiety during this process was unimaginable.
Now the reasons behind the initial first spray and the continuation of this is due to something much more personal. My grandfather Ken or Pa as I called him passed away of melanoma cancer in his 50's when I was only 4 years old. Although I did not have him for as long as I wanted we were extremly close, I loved every second I spent with him and wish I could have had more time, but life does unexplainable things sometimes... After his diagnosis my family went into sun safe mode. Being of Scottish heritage we did not tan but rather freckle and burn. I always had a hat plastered on my head and was smeared with sunblock every 2 hours. We literally spent every moment on the beach so it was a process I was familiar with and knew never to argue about the ritual 2 hour visit back to my mum to be painted with the white cream. I always loved the beach and remember spending countless hours with Pa in the sun and in the water, the beach with him is one of my earliest ever memories.
So when I reached the age when all my friends and I would make the grueling 3 hour trip to Manly via public transport I was known as a sunblock extremist. I found it incredible the amounts of girls putting that coconut oil on and laying in the heat of the day, this is me was almost offensive. Whilst I knew they were darker skinned than I, I was no fool in realising that just because you had olive skin did not mean you were invincible against the sun. However I always envied the tanned limbed nature of these girls but never wanted to risk the sun's burn knowing full well it would not work on my skin and was unsafe. So I started googling this "fake tan" stuff that I had heard about and thought I would give it a go.
I vividly remember my first purchase was walking into Priceline and purchasing a bottle of the fair/medium Neutrogena Sunless Tanning Foam at $9.95. That first pump of foam on my plastic gloved hands my so nerve racking as was the first swipe of tan on my legs. I spent about 45 minutes just on my legs to ensure there was absolutely no streaks. Waking up the next morning I was pleasantly surprised with my masterpiece and went to school being so thrilled. That day I received comments on my darker skin which at that time was only of subtle difference thus a monster was formed. I had finally found a way to be tanned without any risk!
Now the tanning is a well known ritual within my family and friends. Everyone knows I am the queen of tanning and get constant requests for tips and tricks. I have finally have it down pat with an entire body sprayed and blended in 15 minutes. Now current tan plan is as follows. I always start with a base which is a spray tanner - it gives even coverage for hard to reach places now I use Le Tan Deep Bronze Glow Instant Tan Spray - $15 and acts as an amazing base - I use this due to the amount of cash I spend weekly on tan nothing within its price range does the job better. Be warned though it the smell is intense and makes a bit of a mess but if you have an appropriate outside area ot have some old towels and spray it in the bathroom it is pretty great - and yes I use an entire can each spray because I like to be dark. To follow up after about 30 mins of the spray tan drying I either use St Tropez tanning lotion - $60 but well worth it this stuff is so moisturising and luxe or St Tropez tanning mousse - $50 for a small bottle, $70 for a large bottle (great for first tanners) or touch ups during the week.
The reason I do a spray then a lotion or mousse on top is for one reason flawless coverage. Spray tan dries out your skin and clings more easily to drier parts of your body and this is why your hands, feet, knees and elbows will always be more prone to looking darker, these are the parts you have to be particularly careful of if you are scared about looking orange/fake. The mousse or lotion tends to blend the tan more easily into your already spray tanned skin whilst giving it moisture. It is important to note this is just what works for me and not all people would be comfortable with this nor be dark as I like. Either way I am going to include my go to never fail tan tips;
1. Always, always, always wear rubber gloves! Tanned palms will never be a good look, EVER!
2. No matter what a tan can or bottle says you must blend and rub in (hence the rubber gloves) all of those cans that say no blend required I stress to not listen and to always blend the tan in.
3. Ensure you cover your feet during the spray tanning of the rest of your body and give them a light spray at the end of the tanning session.
4. Always tan your face even just slightly there is nothing worse than stopping your tan at your neck!
5. To maintain tan every third day swipe a thin layer of mousse or lotion on top of your tan if you just want to moisturise ensure your lotion has no oil in it - oil strips the tan away from your body and decreases its longevity.
6. If spray tanning your hands and feet and have no nailpolish on ensure you paint your nails with a clear gloss pre tan - this will allow your nails to not get stained from the tan.
7. To ensure an all over faux glow apply a layer of lotion/liquid bronzer on special occasions it furthers your flawless finish and gives you a glow (I pretty much do this step daily).
8. Always wash anti persperant deo as soon as you are done wearing it as this always strips off the tan and is responsible for the underarms going patchy - nasty bugger.
9. Always ensure you spray in a well ventilated area the best option is always outside.
10. You hear this all the time but EXFOLIATE this really makes all the difference to the final product - I use Kit Sugar Scrub or Palmolive Coconut Cocoa Scrub with a facecloth and scrub off unwanted tan than way this works best for me as I like to scrub off my old tan and spray and new tan in the same night - shaving just prior to exfoliating not only makes your skin super smooth before tan application but helps take of the old tan. This step should not be done after tanning it will strip off your tan however shaving obviously will not last as long as your tan so you may need to do it during your glowing week. Often I use Veet Hair Removal Cream which helps take off my old tan and hair does not grow back nearly as fast as when you shave.
11. Always wait at least 6 hours before getting water near your tan - I always tan at night I can't stand being sticky and spray about an hour before I go to bed. I use the hairdryer on the cool setting to speed up the process and don't get dressed until after half an hour to ensure no streaking from clothing.
12.If your first tan experience doesn't work or doens't live up to your expectations please be patient it may not be a tan type that suits you. I have tried lotions, sprays, mousses, gradual moisturises and gels and it took me almost 4 years to find the tan that works best for me. The bets tip is always blend to avoid any streaks.
It sounds like a lot of work but honestly so worth it and I wake up everyday bronzed and beachy ready and yes I keep this up in winter but do a much lighter spray so when summer rolls round it isn't such a shock to get beach ready.
So now you know my secret, I hope this doesn't change anything between us.
